By: Catherine Cai

I was at a birthday party for my friend’s sister, Diana when her mom started a family tradition. She would ask Diana mundane questions, like what her favorite color was (glitter) or her favorite animal (eastern diamondback rattlesnake). She started this tradition because she wanted to record what Diana said each year on her birthday to eventually retell at her wedding. On the last question, Diana’s mom asked what she wanted to be when she grew up.

To everyone’s surprise, she exclaimed -with as much bravado as a newly minted six-year-old could muster- “I want to work at Dairy Queen!” As one could expect, Diana’s mom was thrilled to hear this. But Diana did not budge an inch.

Her reasoning was that “They must be fairies! They can make thousands of types of shakes add whatever they want, and somehow it stays upside down! AND THEY GET PAID! FIFTEEN WHOLE DOLLARS AN HOUR! FOR MAKING ICE CREAM!! YOU KNOW WHAT I COULD BUY WITH THAT MUCH MONEY?! I’M RICH”

Her mom expertly countered this statement by providing more viable options, such as “being a princess.” Diana turned up her little button nose, and promptly stated with the utmost nonchalance:

“Princesses are boring. They don’t even do anything. They just sit there in a fancy pants castle and get married to a prince. I’m never getting married. Boys are just ew.”

Her mother decided to be more patient and explained why being a princess was better, using adult reasons. However, Diana did not want to listen, clearly insistent on her ability to make the big bucks as a Dairy Queen worker. Her mother was presently impressed at how her childhood innocence enabled her to outrun wisdom. She knew that this would make a great story for years to come.