By: Sammy Wang

The car ride to Kelly’s new middle school was silent.

“ Kel, are you ready for middle school?” Jing Hui asked, breaking the silence and adjusting the rearview mirror.

Kelly mumbled a small “mm,” most of her attention focused on her phone.

“Could you repeat that, Kelly?”

“Yes, Dad.”

Jing Hui sighed; it had been a few months since the accident happened, and he was worried that Kelly wasn’t ready to go to school.

“Hey Kel, I-”

“Dad..I-“

Another minute of silence came upon them.

“You go first Kel-Kel.”

Kelly took a deep breath as she looked directly at him through the rear-view mirror. Her eyes glazed a little from either tiredness or sadness; Jing Hui didn’t know.

“So Dad, I was thinking..maybe you could stop calling me by my nickname..”

“W-why?” Jing Hui asked, shocked by Kelly’s request.

“Because I think it’s too old for me…and yea.”

Even if Kelly wasn’t specific with her reason, Jing Hui knew exactly why. Maybe it was because they were family or the depressive look on Kelly’s face. Kelly had been crying. Her red eyes and eyebags further expressed that.

“Of course, whatever you want Kel..ly.”

“Dad..will everything really be okay with-“

“Kelly. We’re not going to talk about that, especially on your first day of middle school.”

The conversation stopped there, with silence befalling the Zhang family once again.

When they arrived at the middle school, Kelly quickly gathered her stuff and bolted out the door.

Jing Hui sighed as Kelly stepped into middle school, her figure growing smaller and smaller the farther she went. In the back of his mind, he just convinced himself that Kelly needed time.

Time to readjust, and soon they would return to the familiar father-daughter relationship he was used to. The accident took a toll on Jing Hui and Kelly, tearing them apart, Jing Hui taking on more jobs to support the family, and Kelly being stuck in her room.

…

Three years passed faster than expected.

Everything was moving too fast, and Jing Hui didn’t like it one bit.

Kelly was more distant than anything, being cooped up in her room, not eating dinner, and even straight-up ignoring him.

Despite all attempts to reconnect with Kelly, she always shut him down with things like doing homework, cleaning up her room, or just wanting some alone time.

Jing Hui felt confused…and lost. What is he supposed to do? What kind of support can he give to his daughter?

In his thoughts, Jing Hui didn’t hear Kelly’s hurried figure coming down the stairs. It was only when she was at the front door did he notice her.

“Ah..Kelly going out so soon? Why don’t you eat some breakfast?”

“Oh..good morning. I’m fine, honestly; I’m going out early to check out the high school campus so I don’t get lost, you know..?” Kelly responded quietly.

“Please, Kelly, spend some time with your old man, won’t you? I might disappear one day to live underground with the moles.” Jing Hui exasperate exclaimed, trying to coax his daughter into joining him for breakfast.

Kelly cautiously joined him at the table.

“Dad..please don’t say that again.”

“Say what?”

“Say that you’ll disappear.”

“I was only joking, Kelly! I’m not that old!”

Kelly’s look of doubt and worry only worsened when JIng Hui said that.

Jing Hui noticed her facial expressions and immediately caught on.

“You’re still hung up over the accident?” Jing Hui asked hesitantly, deciding to go straight into it. There was no use in beating around the bush.

“You aren’t?” Kelly shot back with a bit of resentment in her voice.

“Of course I am…but I’ve learned to let it go, and so do you.”

Jing Hui sighed; he wasn’t good at comforting but was trying.

“Look, there was nothing we could’ve done to stop it. Death just decided it was the right moment for her to die.” Jing Hui said, walking to the kitchen counter to grab some tissues, “You can’t always hold on to the past. It’s been three years. Nothing will change so it’s better to let go and accept it.”

“But..I miss her, how am I just supposed to let her go, Dad ?! She wanted us to all be happy- and she just left like that. Ever since she…died, I feel as if she took a part of me with her leaving me in a big hole of sadness, grief, just EVERYTHING. How am I supposed not to feel sad, Dad? Tell me! ” Kelly sobbed, glaring at Jing Hui.

Jing Hui walked up to Kelly, kneeled to get within her height, and hugged her tightly, “I’m sorry, I just don’t know what to say…but I do know I want her to be here as much as you do. “

They hugged each other tightly for a moment, and Kelly’s sobs filled the house.

When they broke apart, Jing Hui felt relieved, finally able to console and comfort his daughter.

Kelly blew into some tissues, eyes still red and snot coming from her nose.

“Do you want to visit the cemetery, Kelly?”

“Maybe..” Kelly sniffled.

“Wanna go after school?”

“After school..wait..! Dad, I gotta go.” Kelly stood up suddenly, grabbed her backpack, and opened the front door.

“Thank you, Dad..love you,” and she closed the door.

Kelly was gone, and Jing Hui was alone.

He returned to his seat and stared at a picture hanging near the front door.

Nobody was there to hear his sobs.