By: Terrence Mower

Annually, $105.26 billion is spent on lottery tickets in the United States. When compared to the $1 billion jackpot that PowerBall surpassed just yesterday, the true winners really come to light. Even still, such a large sum is enough for quite a luxurious lifestyle. While many challenges are faced by lottery winners, as long as the money is managed well, it can also be spent well. If I were one of the few lucky individuals to win the billion-dollar jackpot, I would probably buy an expensive car to drive away from the real world.

First, let me explain why I would want to leave. The simple answer: people. Once all my distant relatives and friends of friends see my name on the news as the billion-dollar jackpot winner, they are going to come after me. “Can I borrow some money?” “Come on, we’ve been friends for so long!” “Just buy me a house! Just one!” You might be wondering why I wouldn’t just hire a lawyer to claim it for me. After all, as Vimal Patel from the New York Times explains, it’s best for lottery winners to remain anonymous. Winners are allowed to hire a lawyer and have them be the ones on the news. Well, lawyers cost money. I don’t need a bloodsucking lawyer asking for 10 or 20% of my hard-scratched money. If I don’t hire a lawyer, I get to keep all the money, but I’ll have to get out of town fast, and a fast car will help me do that.

But I’m not just talking about a run-of-the-mill, normal old fancy car. I’m talking REAL speed. Something that whizzes down the highway, too fast for the police sensors to comprehend. And if it can fly, so much the better. All that aside, the main thing I need is to get away from civilization and fast. If it can be driven, hidden, and parked, then I’ll take it. Sure, I don’t know how to drive yet, but those lottery winnings are definitely enough for a self-driving car.

But where will I go? You ask. Well, I’ll drive to the nearest airport then fly to a fancy boat dealer, and boat to the nearest of the 70 private islands up for sale. Or I could drive to the desert or somewhere in the Rockies. From there, I just have to build a very large house with a very large garage and remain unnoticed the whole time. Plenty of billionaires have run away seeking escape from civilization. Bob Harrod ran away with millions of dollars in 2009 and was gone for four years before he turned up again. I plan to do something similar, although I don’t think I’ll ever be able to return to my hometown after that goes down. When I’m 18, I’ll come back to civilization in my fancy new car but live far, far away from anybody who could know of my vast sums of money. Hopefully, I won’t be tracked down by the FBI, kidnappers, or the IRS. With $1 billion, no place is out of reach.

Becoming a billionaire opens up many new doors for the future. And one of those just might be a car door. Whether that may be to show off the bling or escape the scene, a new car can always come in handy. Or maybe I’ll just buy some gum.