By: Gloria Gao

I need to learn to accept.

I need to accept that the same people who thought I ate dog and rice and wonton

Are now begging me to share fried rice recipes in exchange for a lollipop

I need to accept that the same people who laughed at me for watching Doraemon

Are now plastering anime stickers all over their laptops

I need to accept that the same people who pulled their eyes to call me a moron

Are now using eyeliner to look more exotically pop

I need to learn to accept.

Everywhere my feet make contact with the shaky ground,

I see a new celebrity going under the knife to seem like their favorite K-Pop idol

Their blood flowing down for the stolen trends

I hear fake Korean tour guides teaching how to say ‘Konnichiwa” in Chinese

Their syrupy voices ensnaring gullible prey

I smell the sticky-sweet scent of synthetic pseudo mochi sweets

Their cultural appeal drawing in desperate teenagers

I feel the silk of a kimono that a white woman wears at her wedding

Her excited parents showing off her outlandishly quirky fashion

I taste the saltiness of a bowl with “ramen noodles” oozing around

The deceptive flavor manufactured by the same person who boycotted Chinese restaurants because of MSG

I need to learn to accept because

All around me are two-faced demons

Reaching up to snatch my heritage

When they used to taunt me for who I am

All around me are guilty liars, faces gleaming

Trying to change their genetic parentage

When they used to make me morph into a hidden clam

All around me are people who don’t dwell on

The fact that they want to take MY culture by using their privilege

Without caring that they made ME want to shed my culture for THEM, milligram by milligram

I finally need to learn to accept.

Because one day very soon

All that’s left of my so-called “culture”

Will be lumped

And bumped

And clumped

Into a terribly wrong mix of everything that YOU picked and chose and refined.

The centuries of art and war and despair will be erased

The creativity of actual Asian artists will be all for waste

All the love and hate and good and bad and beautiful and ugly- GONE

You’ll say: Cambodia? What’s that? I only know Korea! Aneonghasayo!!

You’ll be living in a Tokyo glory without a Tokyo story

In fact, all that will remain is an Etsy listing:

“Naruto Boruto Bakugou-inspired anime lovers perfect for Jimin stans, kawaii perfect princess Hello Kitty-inspired Uncle Roger approved

Sushi earrings.”

Sold by UwuKawaiiPrincessCharms

Made by a white woman in Nebraska

This is what will represent my history.

There’s nothing left for me to do

But to

Finally, accept.

And if that doesn’t give me “emotional damage”, I don’t know what will