By Brayden Yin

Blah. It was SO boring. It was, like, a zillion degrees outside and Bob had to go outside and get “physical activity.” He had brought his cheap radio outside, but it was starting to get blobby around the edges. He picked it up and chucked it into the recycling bin. It made a loud CLANG. He looked inside the bin and saw a giant nugget of gold with a crushed transistor radio on top of it. He was RICH. He went inside and called the bank immediately and asked how much it was worth. The person who answered told him to just give the gold to the bank. Bob thought this a little suspicious, so he used the gold to buy some defensive plants: venus flytraps that could eat humans, cactuses that shot spikes, and weeds that punctured the feet that stepped on them. 

The next day, a bank official tried to get into Bob’s house and steal the gold. He had to run away with spikes in his feet and hair. The next day, another bank official came. One cactus spike hit the bank person’s watch, and the watch crystal focused the sun’s rays on the house, and there was a huge fire. Bob ran out and started spitting on the fire. The bank official picked up the garden hose and sprayed it at the house, making machine gun noises. When the fire was put out and the plants were saved, the two humans saw that the entire house looked like it was made of gold. Here is what happened. The sun was so hot it melted the gold. The molten gold went into a storm drain, got filtered, and put into a reservoir. The molten gold was sent up the garden hose and at the house. Then, the gold cooled, making the house golden. 

A few years later…

Blah. It was so boring. Bob sat in the mansion in California, sipping a mango smoothie. He had sold his house for a few million dollars, and he used the money to buy a brownstone mansion in California. He was now bored of his rich surroundings. He chucked  his smoothie into a recycling bin, which made a resounding CLANG. He looked inside and found a chunk of platinum.