By: Jessie Sha

June 7, 1943

My body ached, the bright sun beating against my back. It’s been years since the war started. The war took away everything in my life starting with my family. The war started all because of stupid Hitler’s idea of a “pure” German race; what he called Aryan. He had just announced himself as the new president and then started to go against our country’s treaties. (7) He started invading countries in Europe, and eventually war was declared by France in September 1939. (2) I was sent here just yesterday; found “hiding” from the Nazis. By the looks of the other Jews, the conditions are unlivable. They assigned me a job the second I stepped foot into this camp. My job was, to do free labor, work for 11 hours, and make weapon parts for the stupid Germans. (1&6)

I arrived at Auschwitz with other Jews, Catholics, Greek Catholics, Roma (people with disabilities), and Eastern Orthodox people, all victims of the evil Hitler. (1) They made all the new arrivals undress, unaware of their fate of either death or a cleaning. Luckily, for us it was just water and not the toxic Zyklon B gas (which I overheard from some SS guards). We were given our clothes back. At least I could be grateful for that. According to a clothes trader, unlike the other camps who were given special camp. They were typically white with blue stripes on it. They still sewed symbols on our clothes; the ugly red triangle inverted with the yellow one or the two inverted yellow triangles. (3) The mark of a Jew.

The Kapos and SS forced us to follow a strict schedule, waking us at around 4 and a curfew of 9. (7) If you didn’t abide, you would be tortured; beaten with a stick or whip. Today was only my first day here, and my whole body already wants to give up. Last night was the worst. The nauseating smell of dirty feet, and sweat, mixed with the thick humid summer air left no room to sleep. All the women were crammed into small broken-down barracks with small beds. (2) Once we were all taken earlier this morning, fear was alive in our bodies.

The lunch break was around noon. Lunch consisted of just a bowl of soup that was so disgusting (7), it made me practically vomit. If this continued, I will starve to death before they killed me. (7) I ate slowly, trying not to draw attention to myself. Suddenly, it started raining black snow. The “burnt offerings.” The dead from the gas chambers were cremated. It was a rumor around camp, but I didn’t think it was true. I stared up, baffled and amazed. I stuck out my tongue to taste a dark snowflake. The girl sitting next to me jerked my head down. “Don’t do that” she whispered to me. “Those are the “burnt offerings.” We think they’re the dead being cremated.” (5) I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks; grateful that it wasn’t me, but heartbroken that my poor frail mother hadn’t made it. The ashes littered the floor, and many others on the floor crying their hearts out. My throat hurt from crying, but the water was a rarity to get.

The latrines were also filled with gunk that stank the place up. (7) I gagged down the soup, hoping I wouldn’t vomit right then and there. I managed to finish half the soup before lunch was over. I was back to work, making parts of sidearms (guns.) The tools I used were normally wrenches, screwdrivers, and hammers. (5) When I was making those weapons, I tried not to think about how they would be used. Whenever I did, my hands would shake, and I would be punished. It would be years before any true estimates of how many the Nazis had killed came out. 17 million. And I had helped make the weapons that had killed some of them. How could they take so many innocent lives heartlessly? Only the devil would know. I wished I was wrong, but we’re a “criminal” to life.

The sound of another person getting whipped rang in my ears. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. I counted to 25. That was supposed to be the most hits allowed, but SS and Kapos don’t follow the rules. They would even restart if they lost count. (2) Moments later, one of the workers dropped dead. He was elderly and completely skin and bones. It looked like he hadn’t eaten in days. No one took him away; no one even acknowledged him; everything went on as if he hadn’t just died. I guess it was a normal thing here now. That’s messed up, it shouldn’t be normal that thousands of people die every day. I picked him up cautiously and set him near the door hoping the SS or Kapos wouldn’t punish me for being out of line. (4) It took me the whole day to realize that I was here on a death sentence, just like everyone else. It was their plan to kill as many “imperfect” people as they could after all. (3&4)

Dinner finally came after hours of hard labor. Dinner was served with a small portion of stale bread to last until tomorrow morning, some pieces of sausage, and a small scoop of margarine. (7) I learned last night that you actually have to hide the bread or other women would steal it. The first official day here was already harsh, and I hope things get better before everyone perishes. I hope, for hope is all I have left. Hope is all anyone has left, and maybe one day the war will end, and the dead will be mourned the right way.