By: Olivia Ho

My name is Kayla Foren. Have you ever read or seen an article that talked about someone who had memories of a past life? I’m one of those people. I’ve always had memories of another person, but I’ve never really tried to figure out who that person was. I remember my first dream, but I never understood it, or any of my following dreams that were always the exact. Same. Thing. I’ve done my research on why this is even happening, but it doesn’t help. However, I have learned a few things.

In middle school I had so many friends. In fact, I ended up popular by the end of my first month. But at the start of my last year of middle school, I suddenly felt a strange feeling while my dad and I were driving. As the car started, I closed my eyes to see my dream, but this time it was more realistic than ever. I felt the pain from the dream and lost my grip on myself. When I opened my eyes again, I was already at my school and walking with my friends. What just happened? I looked around me and I was walking in the school hallway. From the classroom windows, I saw a reflection of someone. She was pale and gagged, her eyes were red, and her hands were tied together. I looked closer at her, why was she was walking with my friends? I wanted to stop looking and focus on the conversation my friends were having.

“Kayla, Kayla, are you listening?” asked one of my friends. I wasn’t sure who had spoken. The gagged and tied-up girl’s face was so familiar…

After that day, every time I closed my eyes, I always had the same dream, and they were always more realistic. I could feel everything that happened. But that wasn’t the only that changed, I lost all my friends. First one friend, then another friend, then a few friends, and after a few months, only three, then two, and suddenly I was all alone. My dreams kept on resurfacing, and it affected me.

Anyway, fast forwarding to now, I’ll be starting at a new school tomorrow. And I’m spending the day wondering how to avoid every person and just be one of those students no one cares about.

Although it was the last day of summer, instead of doing all the fun things one last time and moping about the heavy load of school work that awaited me, examining the map of my new high school seemed better. I started drawing concise routes to all my classrooms so I could meet as few people as I could.

I looked out the window of my room, it was dark, and then I saw two cars, one red car behind a blue car. I wanted to continue working on my map, but my eyes wouldn’t budge, I could just see the two cars crashing. Suddenly the red car started to speed up. It screeched to a stop only a few inches away from the blue car. My mind shuts down and my head slams into the desk.

I seemed to be in a car next to a man who was looking at me. He had jet-black hair and wore glasses. He was wearing a suit. I tried to speak, but I was gagged and my hands were tied. A name appeared in my head. Christian. This person’s name was Christian. Who are you? I looked down at my hands that were held together by ropes. I desperately looked into the rear-view mirror and saw that I had been crying because my eyes were red. Why was I the girl from the reflection? Then I looked at this Christian again, his eyes were glistening, and we were driving 90 miles per hour.

I looked at the road that seemed to stop suddenly, then it dawned on me: we were driving off a cliff. As the wheels left the road behind he suddenly turned and looked at me. I had started to cry, and my heart was beating rapidly and there was a pressure on my toes. I wanted to jump out of the car and run. I was a wound-up spring. I kept on looking at Christian, his eyes were dilated, and his hands were gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles were white. As we plunged towards the earth I screamed. It was so loud that although I was gagged Christian heard it. I suddenly realized that he wasn’t screaming, his eyes were closed and his face was relaxed, but pale. We fell for a long time, I wasn’t sure when it would end. I suddenly felt the car slam to the ground…

Then I woke up. My head was sweaty and my heart was beating rapidly. My fingers were in fists and it took some time to unravel them. I looked at the clock seated on my desk, exactly seven AM. I got changed and walked into the bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I saw that my whole face was a mess. Surprisingly there was a scar on the side of my neck. I washed my face and brushed my teeth. Quickly I walked back into my room to get the map that I had drawn last night, then ran downstairs to eat breakfast.

“Excited for your new school, Kayla?” my mom asked as she bustled around in our newly constructed kitchen. As she handed me my plate of scrambled eggs, I nodded and pulled on the strings of my hoodie. It would help me lay low when I was at school. I slowly ate my eggs, hoping to spend as little time at school as possible.

When I finished eating I double checked that everything I needed was in my backpack and got into the car outside. My dad was already waiting for me. As I sat in the front seat, memories of my dream resurfaced, I could still see the cliff that I had fallen off of in my dream. How many times had I had that same dream both asleep and awake? I heard the engine start and my dad started to drive. I know that my first dream was that exact dream. Why hasn’t it become boring or even monotonous? How come I have to be the one who is exposed to this? What does it mean? I was sure that the girl was half me because I was getting flashbacks from it, and every time I looked in the rear-view mirror in the dream the girl always looked more and more like me.

“We’re here,” my dad said, I smiled at him and opened the door. I looked at the large crowd of kids swarming and trickling through the front gates. As I shut the door and put on my headphones, I made sure my hood covered most of my face and then I took out my map and took a picture of it using my phone. I was able to quickly navigate the school and successfully got into my classroom without socializing with anyone.

The first class I had was English. The teacher smiled at me and pointed to the board to where the seating chart was being projected. I quickly found my name on the board and then my seat, I started to look at all the names on the chart and my heart started to thump as I saw who assigned to sit next to me: Christian. I forced myself to calm down, there was no freaking way. But it’s him. A boy with jet-black hair sat down next to me, he was the same Christian who drove me off the cliff in my dream.

I removed my headphones and quickly put my phone back into my bag to take out a large book. I kept stealing glances at Christian, but when I tried doing it for the fifth time, he noticed me and a look of recognition flashed across his face that was slowly turning red. His hands gripped his desk, “I know you.”

I know you (pt.2)
Don’t move, I thought. Christian barely even said the words out loud. I practically couldn’t hear him say ‘I know you’. The only dream I ever had was starting to come alive, my worst fear. My eyes darted around the room looking for an escape. I looked at the clock. There were still five minutes before class started. And then, the world shifted. A hole opened up in the floor and all the chairs started to fall inside. Only my desk and Christian’s remained. And then everything changed again and a road appeared instead. I squeezed my eyes shut. I knew that when I opened them, I would see myself in a car.

Sweat prickled at the back of my neck. The fabric of my hoodie stuck to me like a second skin. Slowly, I opened one eye and then the other. Yes, it was definitely the same car. I studied the familiar scratches on the dashboard for a long second. After a couple of deep breaths, I broke away from my dream.

I looked at Christian. His eyes were closed tight, face completely drained of color. Great. My killer is suffering worse than I am. I didn’t try talking to him or asking if he was okay because, well, look at him. I doubt that the me in my dream would forgive him. Class started and his eyes were red, I did my best to focus and ignore him.

After class, I pulled out my phone and zoomed in on my route to my second-period classroom. You are still alive and breathing so make sure you stay like that, Kayla. I glanced out the classroom window to check the hallway and saw a flash of dark hair. Christian. Wait, is Christian following me?

Focus Kayla, I thought. Your classroom is only three steps, two steps, and now through the doorway look at the seating chart just to see that you sit in the same area as you did for the first period. But who is sitting next to me? Again, it’s Christian. I see him walk into the classroom and once he sees where he’s sitting, he clenches his jaw and sits down.

For every single period, as he sat next to me again and again, I found my mind wandering back to the dream. Eventually, I convinced myself that I was just making a big deal out of nothing. But that changed when I found a note in my bag with the ominous words, “We need to talk.” The note didn’t say anything else and eventually, I thought nothing of the note.

Over the next few weeks, I stayed to myself and focused on my work, doing my best to get good grades. I eventually got to know this girl named Veronica. I wouldn’t call her my friend, but she was better than nothing. The only reason I even ‘befriended’ her was because we both just wanted to sit with someone during lunch.

One day during the first period a new project was assigned to us. The students would be split into pairs chosen by the teacher and would have to research a historical event. As we all looked at all the accidents we were allowed to choose. Christian and I chose the same thing.

What was it that we chose? A car being driven off a cliff. The people inside? A boy named Christian, and a girl named Kayla.

   I know you (pt.3)

The next day, I was again taking my time and trying to slow down when I got into Dad’s car. I was already dreading the research part of my project; our teacher made it a requirement that both people on every team needed to do research. As I thought about everything that could go wrong with the project I saw Christian walking to school. He was staring at the school and took each step slowly.

I peeled my eyes away from the window and waited as our car got to the front of the school. As I got out I saw Veronica walk through the school doors and I ran up to meet her. “What’s up?” I asked.

“Nothing,” she said. I looked at her, as usual, her long brown hair was in her regular braid. Her backpack was also like always, slumping from the books she stuffed inside. The only difference was a distant look on her usually perfectly shaped face.

“Something wrong?” my mind started to wonder what had happened, and a wave of possible scenarios hit me. Does she not want to be my friend anymore? Did something happen with her family? Did somebody die? Is she moving?

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s just that I discovered a secret,” she said. I watched as she smiled at the thought of it. Veronica was so complicated, that you couldn’t tell what her smile meant or if the emotion her face showed was real.

I started to hear a lot of chatter behind us and I felt my skin prickle. With a quick bye to Veronica, I walked to my first period class. When I entered the classroom with a quick greeting to the teacher, I saw Christian already in his seat and typing away at his computer.

I sat down slowly and hoped he wouldn’t notice me. As I took out my computer I froze when I saw what was on Christian’s screen. It was a picture of a car at the bottom of a cliff. I froze and so did Christian. The car was blurred to hide any blood or gore, but I was able to make out two faces. A man and a woman, I looked at Christian and he looked at me.

My heart was thumping so fast that my hands were shaking. I quickly put my computer onto the desk so I wouldn’t drop it. The bell rang and we broke eye contact. My relationship with Christian was very quiet. There wasn’t really anything we wanted to talk about except our dreams, and we were both avoiding that. So we settled for our occasional hi’s or small talk about school work that always resulted in awkward silence.

I kept on looking at the picture while my teacher gave the instructions on how we would organize the information. Soon, the students around me started typing and doing their research, but not me or Christian.

I decided to speak first, “So uh, did you find anything interesting?” I started to fidget with my hands. Christian bit his lip and I thought that maybe it was a bad idea to try to start up a conversation.

“You also have dreams of driving off a cliff don’t you?” he asked quietly. I stopped breathing and words started to form in my head. “Yeah,” I say.

“Well um, I’m, uh, sorry, for well, you know, killing us?” he said, I wasn’t sure how to feel. Should I say it’s okay? No. It’s not okay, he kills me in the dream. So, should I just nod and ignore him? No. He would probably feel bad or something.

Suddenly he started to speak and breaks my train of thought, “Well uh, I can do some research on the man and you can do some research on the girl. Is that fine?”

“Yeah, sure, I’ll tell you if I find anything,” I said shakily. He nods and starts to work.

I turned on my computer and started to search up the accident when I saw a biography on the Christian involved with the accident. The information I read made me freeze completely.

Christian Tomb
Serial Killer

In 1964, Christian Tomb was found dead in his iconic red car alongside a young woman. It is said that he drove off the cliff both as a murder and a suicide. The girl was identified as a nurse who worked at the hospital in which Christian’s mom died. Files say that she was in charge of taking care of his mom. All the people who worked with his mom were dead.

I didn’t want to tell Christian what I found, maybe I would tell him, but it wouldn’t be today. I knew the emotion that held me back from doing so: fear.

That lunch when I found Veronica she seemed unusually nervous. While she was eating her lunch, she stopped eating and looked me in the eye. “Kayla, I need to tell you something. Yesterday I overheard my dad talking to my mom, he said that one of his colleagues had just died. And apparently, she was Christian’s doctor. But the crazy thing is, Christian was with her when she died.”

                 I know you (pt.4)

I could feel my heart beating so fast it was like it was being thrown against my ribcage. Constant shivers went through me and my hands were shaking. How? And killing people? Fear pumped through my blood, and my stomach was suddenly full.

For the rest of lunch, Veronica and I ate in silence until I spoke up, “Did you find out anything else? About Christian?”

Veronica shook her head, too afraid to say yes, and I bit my lip nervously. “Also, deaths?” I ask timidly. A look of fear in Veronica’s eyes confirmed my question. I sat where I was quietly. We both packed up our things and headed to our separate classes. I dreaded seeing Christian again and my palms started to sweat.

I walked into class and hesitantly sat down at my seat and waited for class to start, but more importantly, for Christian to show up. As the minutes ticked by and class started, I didn’t see Christian come into class. I could feel my tense muscles start to relax and my heartbeat calm.

Then suddenly a thought sprouted in my head, what if he was yet again connected to someone dying. My stomach twisted violently, and my hands started to twitch at the thought of it, why was I cursed by this dream? Why did I have to meet my killer? What is the point of this?

I looked at the clock and waited for the time to pass while my teacher talked about math. My mind kept repeating questions. As I moved from class to class I could only look at the clock in every classroom and listen to the teacher. At the end of the day questions that had been spinning in my mind had mixed with the words my teachers said.

“Anything wrong?” my mom asked as she took in my widened eyes and confused state. The amount of thinking that had made me tired during class must have started to affect my appearance.

“I’m fine,” I mumbled and walked to my room before crumpling onto the ground from exhaustion. I forced myself to zip open my bag and take out my books, pencil bag, and computer. Slowly I start doing my homework, but I constantly get distracted, and at some point I stop writing an essay and instead find myself researching the accident.

As hours go by I find myself waking up from a dreamless nap, which is a relief, and to my mom’s voice calling me down for dinner. I rub my eyes and tie up my hair while I walk downstairs to eat. The nice scent of soup greets me. I take a deep breath and a seat at the table. I slowly start to forget about my dream and Christian’s encounters with death.

When I look through the window of my room after dinner, the pretty sunset greets me, and I decide to go on a walk. After I cross the street, I suddenly see a familiar person leave the house I’m about to pass. I stop, it’s Christian. He notices me and starts to walk towards me.

I didn’t know what to do so I decide to speak up, “Hi.” My hands at my sides start to twitch. Christian stops to think a bit and walks next to me.

“Hello Kayla,” he replies, his words send shivers through my legs. We both walk in silence, you should say something Kayla I think, Say something like, how are you, was today’s homework hard? Or something friendly? Without thinking I open my mouth and say something and when I look at Christian, his face looks angry. Oh no! Kayla, what did you do? I suddenly realize what I had said:

“Why did you kill me?”

I start to wonder how I could take back what I had said but Christian speaks before I can.

“Whats your problem huh?” he asks harshly. My eyes widen at his words. “What’s wrong with me? I have problems? You have problems!” I scream, Christian opens his mouth to speak but I’m faster. “If anyone has a problem it’s you! You’re the one who killed us both in the dream and made me like this! Not to mention the people you were with when they died,” I scream.

Christian looks away and I can tell my words reached him because he flinches when I mention the people he was with when they died. “Kayla, I’m not killing them. They all just drop dead and die,” Christian whispers.

I know you (pt. 5)
As the words fell out of his mouth, I wanted to scream. I want to tell him how he wasn’t being fair. Instead, I stand still and curl my hands into fists.

“But don’t you want to stop these dreams?” I ask softly.

Christian’s sad eyes look down at his dark blue shoes as if he was hiding something. “The thing is, I don’t care anymore, I’m always tired and the thing is, those dreams aren’t bad dreams to me. I’m not sure why but every time I fall off the cliff, I’m not tired anymore and I feel like I’m… I’m…and I feel like I’m free.”

I felt like I was in the car again, floating in mid-air after driving off the cliff. Christian wanted his dreams. He liked them. He felt like it set him free. No. I couldn’t accept that.

“No,” I say. He needed to understand what this dream was. He was letting himself and another person die. That was unacceptable. “You cannot say that letting yourself die is acceptable because you have things to live for.”

Christian shook his head, “Kayla, do you know how many people I’ve lost? I’ve lost my doctor, my friends and now my parents are also scared of me! In the dream, I’m not scared to do anything, and I can be set free.” Then he started to walk again and left me standing there.

“Kayla,” he said, trying to get me to continue walking. “Hey. Kayla, are you okay?” Christian started walking back to me, but I didn’t listen to him; I was stuck on what he’d said.

I closed my eyes and thought about our conversation. Friends. He’d lost friends like I did. But there was something else about what he’d said that ticked me off.

I thought about what he said earlier, something about being set free when he fell…

I’m not scared to do anything, and I can be set free

Our dreams were about driving off a cliff. It was a murder and a suicide. Christian was killing himself in the dream and killing me. Wait. Christen was killing himself! Suicide! No!

“Christian, if we stop the dreams you won’t lose another person you care about, and you still have things to live for right?” I say desperately hoping to not to have to outwardly tell him to not kill himself. He shakes his head.

“Then tell me, Kayla, what is one, just one thing I still have to live for?”

I think about our encounters at school, the silent stares, and the short and awkward conversations. But no matter what there isn’t anything that I can think of that will serve as a reason. I look at Christian and a hurt and sad look settles on his face.

“I don’t want to do this anymore…” he says and looks out into the distance, thinking. He turns around and starts walking again, I go back home confused and concerned for Christian, and for myself.

That night I didn’t sleep well and woke up right when my dream started, which had never happened before. When I looked outside I saw a strange light and it was moving. It was probably someone walking with a flashlight but who, and why at this time?

Suddenly, the light illuminates dark blue sneakers.

I know you (pt.6)
I get a strange feeling that it is Christian outside. I sit on my chair looking at the light slowly fading away. I start to worry.

A thought creeps into my mind. I take the flashlight that sits on my nightstand, grab a hoodie and my house key and quietly tiptoe downstairs. I walk outside, the cold air pricks my face, a stark contrast to the warmth in my home. I turn on my flashlight and start walking in the same direction as Christian.

What was he doing this late at night? Where is he going? My mind swarms with questions when I notice the sidewalk has ended and ahead of me is a clearing with scattered trees.

A cloud blocked most of the moonlight but a little still shone on the area where Christian and I were standing. It was a beautiful place to be at night. As I looked around, I noticed the land seemed to end. I was looking at the edge of a cliff and the realization sends a small wave of nausea through me.

There was a light breeze that added to the chilly air.

There was an eerie tranquility to the area and a heavy sense of calmness that was settling in.

But that calmness didn’t stay.

Suddenly Christian stood up and turned around, seeing me. Then before I can speak, he takes a few large steps toward me and then turns around again. Then he runs towards the edge of the cliff.

Everything stops as it dawns on me, just as it does in the dream, and I know that this is the cliff. My worst fear, my nightmare that frightens me so much, I want to run away from this place and go home. I feel the same feelings I feel in my nightmare, the same pressure in my toes, my heart thumping rapidly.

I snap back from this thought to see Christian near the edge of the cliff. I run as fast as I can and grab his arm. I do my best to find strength as the dream threatens to resurface and paralyze me once again. But I know that this time it will be different. This time I can stop the dream. I can change its ending.

“Let me go,” Christian says hoarsely, I can barely see his face, but I know he is crying.

“I can’t,” I say, my blood is pumping with fear and my arms are shaking. My eyes are burning from fear, and they sting.

“There isn’t a reason for me to live. You can’t even think of one!” Christian’s voice is laced with hate, I’m hit with a pang of shame.

“I-I can think of a reason,” I say with a shakier voice than intended.

“Please, let me go. I can’t live anymore,” Christian is crying, and I am too. There’s fire growing inside me and it’s telling me that I can’t let Christian jump.

“You do have something to live for Christian,” I start thinking again, desperate for something to say.

Suddenly the cloud that blocked the moonlight from fully shining moves and I can see that Christian’s eyes are boring into mine, urging me to speak as if he wanted to live, but just couldn’t admit it. Then Christian started to lean back, desperate to fall off the edge. I panic and my hands feel like their losing their grip on his arm. I start crying harder because the fear and stress I feel is too much, and my heart is pumping so hard it hurts.

I think harder about our conversations… Then I know what to say. I know how to break the cycle, so I open my mouth and do my best to say the words that I hope will help Christian realize that he can choose to live.

“In the dream, you had to choose to live alone in your suffering or die. But this isn’t the dream! Here, you don’t have to suffer alone. I know how you are suffering because I’m suffering too! I couldn’t be there for you before, but I am now. I know I can keep being there for you, because I know you.”

I hear Christian take a deep breath, and he closes his eyes.
Then, he steps away from the cliff.