By: Jingwei Zhao

Shinjiro Atae, a J-pop idol who has been on a two-year hiatus from performing, recently revealed on a stage in central Tokyo to a crowd of over 2,000 fans that he is gay. At first, the fans stayed in complete silence, but then they roared with screams and wild applauses, and there were even shouts of “I love you!”

Reading from a letter that he prepared for the occasion, he stated, “I respect you and believe you deserve to hear this directly from me. For years, I struggled to accept a part of myself. But now, after all I have been through, I finally have the courage to open up to you about something. I am a gay man.”

Coming out so publicly is nearly unheard of in Japan, the only G7 country to not have legalized same-sex unions. However, Japan did pass a watered-down LGBTQ+ rights bill that stated there “should be no unfair discrimination” against the community.

After spending around two decades performing with the hit Japanese pop group AAA, Mr. Atae wanted to announce this secret he kept for years before embarking on his own solo career. He hoped that this message could also spread more awareness about those suffering from anxieties about their sexuality. He says, “I don’t want people to struggle like me.”

According to activists, this is the first time a Japanese pop star publicly stated he or she were gay, despite their worries about losing fans. Gon Matsunaka, a director and advisor working in the Pride House Tokyo, believes, “I think [Mr. Atae] has decided to come out in order to change Japan.” Mr. Atae, who began performing with AAA when he was just 14, said that he had been preparing and fearing to say this to for years, and now he finally has.

“I thought if I was found out it would end my career, and so I couldn’t tell anyone,” said Mr. Atae during an interview the day before the big announcement. His decision to reveal his sexuality came from spending seven years in Los Angeles, where he noticed how freely gay couples expressed their affection in public without too much criticism. Mr. Atae said, “Everyone was so open. People would talk about their vulnerabilities. In Japan, people think it’s best not to talk about those things.”

Satoshi Masuda, a researcher in popular Japanese music, stated, “Japanese society is not a place where people strictly state their sexuality. Rather, it naturally comes to be known.”

Mr. Atae is the youngest of three children and grew up in a town between Kyoto and Osaka. His mother wanted Atae to play baseball until the end of elementary school, as she taught him “gaman,” the Japanese word for endurance. However, when he discovered a local hip-hop studio, he immediately knew that “this is it.” Mr. Atae’s instructors encouraged him to try out for a band, and after two weeks of training in dance, singing, and acting, he was accepted as one of the initial eight members of the AAA group. When AAA debuted in 2005, Mr. Atae was the youngest member, and he mainly performed as a dancer. He also started appearing in movies and TV shows. During that time, “his sexuality perplexed him.”

“It was a time when on TV, comedians would say two men kissing was gross,” said Mr. Atae. Whenever anyone asked if he had a girlfriend, he would tell them that he was just too busy working. AAA was a massive hit, with eight of their songs reaching the top 10 hits on the Japanese Billboard’s Top 100 Charts.

While the success of the group was positive, Mr. Atae stated that “my [his] mental state was in shambles.” For a period, he felt “stuck in a marsh of negative thinking,” jealous and frustrated with how he was not receiving the same amount of fame as his other band members. However, what he kept to himself was that he was afraid of gossip magazines or fans finding out that he was gay.

In 2016, Mr. Atae moved to Los Angeles, where he attended entertainment business classes and learned English. When he visited popular LGBTQ+ communities around the area, he noticed Japanese tourists and visitors, which made him fear that some Japanese people may catch him at gay club or hanging out with a male date. At first, he thought that everything was ruined, but he later developed a different mindset. “I thought there had to be a way,” he said, recalling how his mother taught him “gaman.” He slowly began making friends with people he could trust to keep his secret and started planning out his public confession, but first, he had to tell his family.

“I was super surprised, and I had never imagined it,” said his 66-year-old mother Suzuko, who asked to keep her surname private to avoid harassment. Originally, she supported her son’s sexuality but wanted to keep it a secret and did not approve of his yearning to reveal the information to the public. However, she says now that she is “…200 percent supportive.” She then sat in the back of the auditorium with her two other sons and their families, all crying when Mr. Atae broke down sobbing, stating that he once “thought my [his] feelings were wrong.” Even though some of his solo songs contain “straight” lyrics, he has started spreading the information to more people about his sexuality.

According to a New York Times article, “To his friends, the news was often a surprise. But many, including fellow band members from AAA, showed up on Wednesday to cheer him on.” Misako Uno, AAA member, said in a backstage interview, “The word ‘diversity’ started becoming more common, but how to take in that word is still a very difficult issue in Japan. I want to be a good cushion for him.”

Mr. Atae believed that his memoir was successful in slowly revealing his sexuality, as he thought it was not a smart decision to directly say “I am gay” in front of all his fans. He did not want it to be political, as his goal was to just “normalize” being gay.

Mr. Atae repeatedly stated how nervous he was, despite acting calm, on the day before the announcement. He knew that he would inevitably draw criticism, and noted, “Whatever you do, there will be haters. I can only focus on the people I might be helping.”

Miku Tada, a 23-year-old art student in Tokyo, found it heartbreaking to think how much Mr. Atae “struggled on his own.” However, she believes, “I think that he can have a lot of influence on other kids who may be feeling the same way.”

Reiko Uchida, a 43-year-old housewife from a suburb of Tokyo, said that if some declared that they were gay or lesbian, she would normally be “taken aback.” However, with Mr. Atae, she says, “I see him as someone whose personality I like and a person that I respect.”

To close off the evening, a music video broadcasted Mr. Atae’s single, “Into the Light”:

“I spent so long being these versions of myself,

I forgot who I was, I was somebody else,

You give me something I’ve been missing my whole life,

I’m coming into the light.”