By: Candace Lu

I slipped the thick book back to its place on the shelf, running my finger along the spine.

“What was it about today,” asked a voice.

“A star,” I replied, “A red one, again.”

“Did you like it?” the voice followed up.

“Not really, it was the same as any old star,” I responded, “Lived only to feed the universe, when are you going to give me a good book to read, Ammon? It’s only stars and planets and rocks”

“I don’t control what books arrive,” Ammon said calmly.

I sighed, “Then, what do you even do here?”

“I’m here to keep you company.”

“Then, why am I here?” I demanded.

“I arrived when you arrived, exactly like the way in which you arrived,” Ammon said.

I scowled, “At least you have a purpose, I just woke up here – no memory, no name, no job. Just woke up here, surrounded by boring books.”

“Then, your job is to read,” Ammon replied, “Is it not?”

“I don’t know, that’s the problem,” I responded, “Besides, if I only read about stars and planets and moons, then what’s the point of so many books? You and I can’t do anything together, I can’t even see you. You’re just a voice.”

“Then, my job is to talk,” Ammon’s voice rang out sharply, clearly sensitive about the subject, “I’m sure something new will come soon, perhaps a new planet, one that’s different from the rest.”

“If you say so,” I muttered, picking up a new book about an asteroid.

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“Ammon!” I called, “Look at this.”

“What?” Ammon asked, “It’s just a book”

I smiled mischievously, “You know how all the books that arrive here have ended? This one hasn’t, it just stops on a blank page. This planet hasn’t died yet, it ends in the middle.”

“So?” Ammon asked tiredly, “The Planet died when it was forming.”

“No, it’s not like that,” I huffed, “It’ll continue, it’s as if this planet is forming right now and it’s writing in a diary that only we can see. It’s finally something fun.”

I hear Ammon sigh, “Or it just died while forming or something.”

“First of all, that’s not how it works; Planet stories go like this: planet is born, planet flies out of orbit and dies, with a couple of fun asteroid strikes.” I recited, “ A planet can’t die when it’s forming, it dies once it goes out of orbit, which takes forever.”

“Okay,” Ammon said reluctantly, “So what are you going to do with this book?

I grinned, “You are going to see if any more pages come out. Deal?”

“What makes you think I can see?” Ammon demanded, “I don’t have a body after all.”

“You just said ‘It’s just a book’,” I said confidently, “I think that means you can see.”

“But I can’t move,” Ammon countered, “How will I flip the pages?”

“I know you can move,” I scoffed, “Or at least you can read, you know the contents of all of the books I’ve read even though I never told you”

“Maybe I just know what you know,” Ammon replied.

“Fine,” I grumbled, “I’ll check myself.”

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“Ammon! Look,” I yelled, pointing at a passage in the new book, “Crea-ture-s, there are creatures on this planet!”

“What do you mean,” Ammon asked.

“I think they’re called trill-on-ites?”

“Trilobites?” Ammon laughed.

“How do you know?” I questioned.

“I, I don’t know,” Ammon responded uncertainly, “I guess it’s like how I knew how to say planets and stars.”

“Then, do you know what trilobites are?” I asked, “They can move, just like me. They’re called creatures in the book, am I a creature?”

“I really don’t know”

“You’re useless, aren’t you?” I said

“At least I can say trilobites.”

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“New books arrived today,” Ammon called

“Ohh, let me see,” I replied, “Okay, this one’s about a trilobite! I told you that book meant good things.”

“If you say so”

I frowned, “It’s kind of short and tedious though.”

“But not so much as the other books about the stars?” Ammon asked.

“Definitely.”

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“Ammon, the fishes have evolved!” I said excitedly, “They can walk on land!”

“Interesting,” Ammon said mildly.

“These new books get more and more exciting!” I exclaimed

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“The dinosaurs died, ALL of them! Can you believe that? Ammon, find me a book about one of the dinosaurs that died,” I ordered, “An interesting one.”

“Got it,” Ammon replied, “How did they die? Climate change? Like the paleozoic era?

“No, it was an asteroid,” I replied, “It’s always the worst when an era comes to an end, a whole bunch of books that end in the middle come in and I can’t even read any new ones until the planet recovers!”

“Right.”

“You know, you could be more enthusiastic about this,” I scowled.

“I’m not a reader.”

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“They talk now, like you and me; they’re called humans now” I laughed, “It’s funny, all they used to do was swim around – fish. Now, they’re using tools and everything. Oh, and remember the giant bugs, they’re SMALL now! The dinosaurs too! They’ve become crocodiles and turtles, and birds!”

“Really?” Ammon asked.

“Yes, B-I-R-D-S,” I said, “Cute, small creatures, covered in feathers!”

“Have you ever wondered what we are?”

“Huh? I guess not, I mean, we were born before any creatures ever existed.”

“Oh, okay then.”

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“I can’t believe these humans,” I growled, “They have so many wars, this is – like – the 5th one.”

“What is it for now?”

“It’s about religion, again! They aren’t even sure this guy exists.” I yelled, “And if he did, then did he trap me in this place?”

“Have you noticed that a lot more books about humans and plants and animals have arrived?” Ammon asked abruptly.

“Of course, I’ve read about every single organism that has existed in the earth book: monkeys, ferns, birds. They’re a lot more interesting than planets. Although, the ones about cattle animals are really sad.” I replied.

“They stack up more during the war stories in your book, don’t you think?”

“Well, yeah. A lot of people die during war.”

“You don’t seem to care much”

“They’re just stories”

“What if we’re human, by the description, you look like one,” Ammon interrogated, “Would you care then? What if you were a plant or an animal? Would you care that your kinsman were dying?

“That’s impossible, humans, plants, animals, they all die.”

“And we’re immortal?”

“No, I mean, yeah, I guess.”

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“Ammon, what we were talking about before,” I said hesitantly, “I didn’t mean it. I mean, I do care. But, the creatures I read in the book and us, well, we’re different. You know that.”

“Well, I care,” Ammon whispered, “And I don’t know why, but it’s important to me and you don’t seem to care.”

“I’m a reader. They just seem like stories to me, but you’re different,” I smiled, “It’s weird, I always thought of us as the same. But if it matters to you it matters to me. So, what are they to you?”

“I don’t know, but I understand them.” Ammon replied, “So, I guess it hurts when you just think of it as, I don’t know, entertainment?”

“Alright then,” I pondered, “Do you want to find out why?”

“Yes.”

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“So, you only react this way about earth, right? Not about any of the other books that have arrived?” I questioned

“Yes, well all of the books that take place on earth. You know, the birds and stuff, as well as the humans.” Ammon responded

“So you’re connected to everything on earth.”

“Exactly”

“That makes things difficult.”

“Can you feel it when the things on earth die? I asked, “Like do you feel different during wars?”

“I do feel conflicted when wars happen, but it’s not death”

“Maybe it’s because you understand them, so you understand what each side is fighting for,” I said, “Or something like that, you don’t know what side is right.”

“But I know which side is right. The side that’s protecting their homeland.”

“That’s what your head thinks.”

“I guess that kind of makes sense.”

“What about plants,” I asked, “Humans did a lot of construction that killed a lot of plants. Did you feel anything then?”

“That was more gradual, so I can’t tell whether or not I felt it.” Ammon mused, “Besides, agriculture.”

“You’re being very difficult, you know.”

“I’m just telling the truth.”

“I’m guessing farming animals are the same situation?”

“Yeah.”

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“Okay this guy just set off two atomic bombs in Japan, how do you feel?”

“Tired”

“What?”

“I want it to be over,” Ammon laughed, “But, I always want it to be over.”

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“I don’t feel that good.”

“Um, try to rest. Do you sleep?”

“No.”

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“Ammon, another pandemic happened: COVID-19.” I called, “How do you feel?”

“Worse,” Ammon groaned.

“Okay, let’s take a break from this,” I said, “I’ll read for you.”

“Please no.”

“I’ll read a book about a star, that’s okay, right?” I asked.

“Yeah, okay.”

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“You know, I have a feeling that the earth book is going to end soon,” said Ammon.

“What makes you say that?” I asked.

“I just feel it.”

“Do you feel any better? Did you feel like this for any other pandemics?”

“No. I was just feeling a bit off after, I think, around the industrial revolution.”

“Okay, get better soon.”

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“I was thinking,” I told Ammon, “Are you also connected to the earth?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” Ammon murmured.

“The earth has had some…problems lately,” I reflected, “If you’re connected to the earth maybe that’s why you’ve been so sick lately.”

“Maybe.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re going to get better, okay.”

“Okay”

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“Ammon, Ammon?’’ I called, “Where are you? The book ended. Ammon?”

I ran around the large room filled with books that now felt so empty. And when I finally calmed down, I noticed a new edition to our library on the ground. It was titled ‘Ammon’

‘THE END’