By: Violet Yan

Warning: Content contains, self-harm, suicide, and bullying

(PS. Suicide isn’t the way to be happy. NEVER choose suicide)

Karina is a 14-year-old that moved to New York City one year ago and is starting a new school year. She met a boy named Carson who was also 14 with whom she has a huge crush but is afraid to know how he feels for her. Karina had a twin sister named Julia that got killed in a mass shooting when they were toddlers.

Felix, her 15-year-old brother, comes in and violently shakes her awake. Karina goes and wakes up her sister Selena and makes pancakes for breakfast. Felix, Selena, and Karina enjoy their pancakes and get ready for the bus. They take the bus to school and she is met by Carson. Selena and Felix went to their classes as Karina and Carson ran to their first period. Many girls envied Karina and Carson because Karina wasn’t popular at all and Carson was the most popular boy in the entire school. Many girls asked him out during lunch but he shut them all down.

That’s when Carson cleared his throat and asked, “Karina, I’ve known you for a year but I really feel a connection. Will you be my girlfriend?”

Karina happily replied, “Of course!”

They happily kissed and hugged. After lunch, Karina goes to the restroom and is knocked down by a few upset girls that rant about how Carson shouldn’t be with her.

“He doesn’t deserve to be with a lame girl like you! He just pities you, that’s all honey. Back off of him!”

They punch, spit, and choke her till she blacks out. She wakes up in the same spot except she is alone. It’s dark, as school is closed. She panics, as she realizes how long she had been out. She runs out of school to her house. Carson and her family look worried when they see her. She claims she fell asleep and they believe her. For the next few days, those girls bully her when Carson isn’t there and flirt when Carson is there. Karina then tries cutting herself, but Carson catches her and begs her to stop. She reluctantly stops, as the bullying only gets worse. The girls even cut her arms and legs and let her bleed. Carson sees the cuts and gets mad at Karina for self-harm again. Karina tells him the truth but he doesn’t believe her. Karina is confused why he didn’t believe her and he simply said that she was talking rubbish. Karina gets suspicious of him and secretly spies on him. It turns out that he’s cheating on her with the lead girl of the gang. She felt her heart break and shatter into pieces. She angrily tells her family and they shut him out. The next day Karina ignores Carson as he asks her why.

Karina is alone all day except for the bullying when the lead girl asked her why she was ignoring Carson and she said, “He should know why!”

The lead girl laughed and said, “Lay off of him! Forever!”

Karina said, “I hate him!”

Karina gets a new boyfriend named Karl. Karl was very protective of Karina and made sure the bullies stayed away. One day, Karl was on a short vacation and the bullies came back. They sliced at her legs and knocked her out, leaving her with gushing wounds.

They said, “No one loves you! You are just desperate to be loved! Stop trying, no one cares at all!”

A few more days went like that until Karl came back. Karina told Karl what happened and he raged at the girls.

“You don’t ever lay a finger on my girlfriend! I will crush you to bits if you dare to!” he yelled.

This only promoted the bullies to bully Karina further. One day, Karina was crying when she realized that she couldn’t take it. She had to end it. She wrote letters about why she was doing this and how she wished them luck in life and how she would always be there for Karl and her family.

‘To, my family and my beloved Karl,

If you are reading this, that means I did what I wanted to. I succeeded. The bullies got what they wanted. They wanted me dead. So I am dead. I am in a better place now. Please don’t mourn over me for too long, for that does not do anything. I don’t want to leave you guys, but I can’t take the bullies any longer. I had to. I never wanted to. I wish you guys luck in life and that you guys don’t have to go my way. I will always be here for you guys. And Karl, don’t blame yourself, you did everything you could. This is my fault. And I never told you but I had a twin sister, Julia, which got killed in a mass shooting when we were young toddlers. I secretly mourn her and I can’t wait to be with her again. Maybe the bullies tried to help me. Maybe they were right. I’m nothing. I was born to be alone. I have to stop trying not to be.

Love, Karina’

She then went to the top of the One World Trade Center and got ready to jump. She made sure that it was mostly empty, thought of how she was going to escape life, and then she jumped. One week later it was her funeral. Karl and her family bawled about her suicide as Karl couldn’t believe it. He had read her letter that explained why she did it over and over again. He was angry and upset that she didn’t tell her the full story. He eventually moved on and got married, but he never was the same ever again.