November 29, 2024

Why House Cats Have the Good Life

Creative Writing The Journal 2024

Why House Cats Have the Good Life

By: Benjamin  He

Reincarnation has always seemed like an interesting topic to me.

It’s been the highlight of many elementary school playground discussions, online text messages, and Reddit forums. And now, I want to join in the conversation.

So, what would I want to reincarnate to?

Well, there are a lot of options. My immediate answer would be a human. After all, they have an easy and non-dangerous life…well, less dangerous anyway. Most of us don’t have to worry about where our next meal is coming from. But being a human is a bit boring and mundane, considering most of us are already humans. Let’s take a peek into the animal world.

Some generic options may include a dog (the most popular animal in the world, no surprise there), an octopus (literal instant camouflage), or maybe a cheetah (speed).

I’d want to be a house cat.

Personally, I myself think that this option ranks beyond a human. It’s like you get all the benefits without any of the bad stuff. You get fed, adored, and petted 24/7. Your foolish underlings (AKA “Owners”) buy all this fancy gourmet cat food and machines for you. Heck, we have a cat, and I think this summer we’ve spent almost $200 on cat food alone so far.

Our cat also has an electric water dispenser, three different cat-designed feeding bowls, one coat brush, one teal-colored nail-clipper(designed for cats), a plush cat bed(she refuses to use it), a specific blanket set aside for her, and a huge bottle of Zesty Paws Wild Alaskan Salmon Oil to enhance food flavor.

All in all, our cat has more stuff than I do. The only flaw that I see with being a cat is that you don’t live very long, but honestly, with the way humans are destroying the planet, I don’t see much time for humans either.

So a house cat pretty much gets all the benefits of a pampered rich kid, doesn’t have to go to school, doesn’t have to go to work, is adored by all the humans they meet, doesn’t have to engage in social interaction, and has really good hunting instincts. As a bonus, everyone loves you on sight, so you don’t need to worry whether that one conversation went badly or not.

It’s as Charles Dickens once famously mused, “What greater gift than the love of a cat?”

Image Credit by Frame ofe

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